Subject: ANNUAL NEOLOGISM CONTEST

ANNUAL NEOLOGISM CONTEST
Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning
submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked
to supply alternate meanings for common words.
And the winners are:
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3.Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
 answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are
 run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
 proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with
 Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, you die, and your
 Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front boxer shorts
worn by Jewish men.