Monday, October 31, 2005
Public religious celebration!
| How's this for a little public religious celebration?|
Samhuinn Fire Festival - 31st October, 2005 This year's festival kicks off at 9pm from the Castle Esplanade, and processes down to Parliament Square where the battle of the seasons between Summer and Winter will occur! Featuring dancing, acrobatics, fire performances and a magnificent battle, this is not to be missed!
Attended this years ago when I was in Edinburgh, Scotland. Quite a party!
|Libby canned vegetables , Libby canned fruits, Libby ... just canned. One down, several to go.|
And a pun
|Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.|
From Cary: And no matter which is cleft, it would be an incidental tragedy on a rather large scale.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
This might be useful to the Prez - -
|REMOTE CONTROL DEVICE CONTROLS HUMANS|
A special headset was placed on my cranium by my hosts during a recent demonstration at an NTT research center. It sent a very low voltage electric current from the back of my ears through my head — either from left to right or right to left, depending on which way the joystick on a remote-control was moved.
I found the experience unnerving and exhausting: I sought to step straight ahead but kept careening from side to side. Those alternating currents literally threw me off.
The technology is called galvanic vestibular stimulation — essentially, electricity messes with the delicate nerves inside the ear that help maintain balance.
There ya go! A remote control for the reluctant left leaning or those "too far" to the right. Just move the little joystick, and bingo! They vote Republican. Or perhaps they lean a little left and endorse the Prez's latest nomination!
Monday, October 24, 2005
Monday pun . .
|Did you hear about the butcher who backed into a meat grinder?|
He got a little behind in his work.
(sorry... it is SO VERY MONDAY today...)
|Probably an acceptable choice. The interesting bit, in my mind, is this:|
NYTimes, Earlier this month, Mr. Bush said he would like to nominate someone independent from politics but he has also made clear that he would like to have a personal rapport with the candidate. Given the Fed's critical role in guiding the economy, the candidate would also have to reassure Wall Street. . . . He is widely respected by liberals and conservatives. Brad DeLong, an economist at the University of California who is a frequent critic of the Bush administration, called Mr. Bernanke "a very good choice" on his Web site today.
Why is this interesting? We are hearing how "independent" this nominee is. Is this the Bush Admin putting distance from the candidate to make him more acceptable to his own party as well as the Democrats? Hmmm....
Friday, October 21, 2005
from my email . . .
|I went into the Citco gas station this morning and asked for five dollars worth of gas.|
The clerk farted and gave me a receipt.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Both sides of the aisle...
|seem to be salivating over Cheney's resignation. My oh my, must be wonderful to be so popular!!|
Said another Bush associate, "Yes, this is not good." The rumor spread so fast that some Republicans by late morning were already drawing up reasons why Rice couldn't get the job or run for President in 2008.
"Isn't she pro-choice?" asked a key Senate Republican aide.
And that's another one that seems to have lost a little shine. . .
Rodentia . . .
|According to the TTLB I am still an *adorable* little rodent. Lovely. So here is a rodent pun . . .|
What is a rodent's favoirite drink?
Yup, we can add that one to the groaner list
Monday, October 17, 2005
Miers, we're still looking for someone qualified
In a show of support for Ms. Miers, President Bush appeared with a group of former Texas judges backing her nomination and called her "a uniquely qualified person to serve on the bench."
Oh so THAT really clears it up - "uniquely qualified" - what exactly does that mean? She is the only person who could be qualified in a *certain* way? Perhaps by being the Prez's special lawyer friend?
"I didn't learn answers to so many questions," he said. "On many she wouldn't give answers, and many others she deferred, saying, 'I need to sort of bone up on this a little more,' 'I need to come to conclusions.'"
Really. Couldn't we just pass on this one and go on to the next one on the list?
An airplane that was forced to return to the airport after colliding with a flock of geese. Of course, as soon as it had landed the airport mechanics rushed out to take a gander.
Friday, October 14, 2005
And a pun . . .
|A married man had only one complaint: his wife was always nursing sick birds. One February evening, he came home to find a raven with a splint on its wing sitting in his favorite chair. On the dining room table, instead of dinner, there was a feverish eagle pecking at an aspirin. In the kitchen, his wife was comforting a shivering little wren she found out in the snow.|
The furious husband strode over to where his wife was toweling down the cold little bird. I can't take it any more! We've got to get rid of all of these #(@ birds!"
The wife held up her hand and cut him off in mid-sentence. "Please, Dear, no cuss words in front of the chilled wren."
Post Yom Kippur
|The day after Yom Kippur is always a little fuzzy for me - I'm recovering from fasting by eating, of course, but somehow I'm still not quite connected to the every day grind yet. All that atoning, for all that sinning. Sigh. You'd think I'd figure it out and clean up my act, but no, I just try out new things...|
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Is it Tuesday already???
|Here's the pun.... |
Why do we call it politics?
Because "poly" means many, and "ticks" refer to blood sucking parasites.
Monday, October 10, 2005
The Geologist groaner
|From a friend of mine . . .|
You should never take anything for granite. It might be gneiss, but its probably a piece of schist!
Friday, October 07, 2005
The Friday groaner . . .
|One day in the jungle a chimpanzee invented some tools to eat his dinner. One tool was a flat stick sharpened along one edge, this he used to cut his food.|
The other was a stick with four smaller sticks attached to the end each sharpened to a point. He used to spear his food and place it in his mouth.
The chimp was very proud of his inventions which he called his one point tool and his four point tool. One day he awoke to find that the four point tool was missing. The chimp was distraught. He ran around the jungle trying to find his precious tool.
First he came upon the lion. "Lion, Lion!" he cried, "Have you seen my four point tool?"
"No." Replied the lion, "I have not seen your four point tool."
Then the chimp came upon the gorilla. "Gorilla, Gorilla!" he cried, "Have you seen my four point tool?"
"No." Replied the gorilla, "I have not seen your four point tool."
Then the chimp came upon the jaguar. "Jaguar, Jaguar!" he cried, "Have you seen my four point tool?"
"Yup!" replied the jaguar, "I've seen your four point tool."
"Well where is it?" inquired the chimp.
"I ate it." Said the jaguar, smugly.
"Why would you do that?" Cried the chimp.
"Because," replied the big cat, "I'm a four point tool eater jaguar!”
Sing it again with feeling?
|Why is that the Prez feels that if he just says the same thing again...and again...and again that that will make it so? He has stated repeatedly that Ms. Miers will be confirmed, will sit on the bench, etc. Somehow I don't think that it will work this time. My own doubts are about who she is and how suitable she is for the level of position she is being nominated for. I don't doubt that "she is a nice person" as the Prez has stated. In John Roberts case the Prez chose someone who was very qualified for the job albeit a black box as far as how he might decide certain issues. Unfortunately, Harriet Miers is unqualified and so much of a black box that other conservatives are unwilling to support her on the slim evidence that is offered.|
I was amazed to find even staunch fearless leader worshipers like Daisy Cutter, dissenting on this one. Oh my! However tempting I cannot support her on that bizarre theory of "my enemy's enemy is my friend". First of all DC isn't my enemy, just the opposition, and I still can't support Miers on just the fact that she was involved with the ABA and they are more liberal than conservative.
I think the Prez needs to toss this one back and put the line back in the water. . .
We knew this...
|Thanks to Jess over at LOSLI. Why can I not resist these things? Is it that I continually have to ask, "Self, what are you up to NOW??"|