1. Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you.

3. Well this day was a total waste of makeup.

6. Do I look like a people person?

7. This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting.

8. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.

9. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.

10. Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless

acts of self-control?

12. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.

13. Do they ever shut up on your planet?

21. Chaos, panic and disorder...my work here is done.

24. Earth is full. Go home.

26. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

27. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.

30. Look in my eyes...do you see one ounce of gives-a-shit.

Read all of them HERE