Julie with a B

Tuesday, August 23, 2005
How to kill snails
A simple process . . .

1. get a pie tin
2. excavate a shallow hole in a shady place in the garden
3. place pie tin in shallow hole, so that rim is level with the soil
4. fill pie tin with cheap beer
5. drink the rest of the can of beer
6. wait for snails to crawl in get drunk and drown
7. chase dog away from cheap beer
8. re-fill pie tin
9. swill the last of the can
10. wait for snails
11. chase dog away from cheap beer
12. re-fill pie tin
13. drink the rest of that can and the six pack
14. wait for snails
15. drive to 7-11 purchase another six-pack
16. kick dog away from pie-tin
17. re-fill pie tin
18. swill that can plus a couple, because you have extras
19. wait for snails
20. lock dog in garage
21. fill pie tin
22. drink the rest of the can of beer, as well as the rest of the 6 pack
23. stagger into the house
. . . . .
24. turn off alarm
25. take aspirin before lifting head from pillow
26. let dog out of garage
27. wash down garage floor
28. retrieve disgusting mess of dead snails and beer from under bush and dump in trash can
. . . .
30. purchase snail pellets at garden center on the way home from work


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